Local Doge Melted into Goo by Undead Huwight at Tower of Wayward Magic

Maccus (henchman) L? Fighter
Denewulf L? ???
Mani L2 Wonderworker
Lesandir L1 Elven Spellsword
Reynard L3 Mountebank
Boggart L1 Dorf Craftpriest
Sirfen ??? (left early)
Ragnhildr Redhelm L1 Dorf Furnacewaifu
A doge, which is no more. RIP doge.

(I didn't write down names until after the session ended, so I apologize if I forgot anyone. Message me on discord and I'll add you if I did!)

We were back on regular 1:1 time finally! But the message didn't get around, so there was some kinda fucked up time shear where some characters from the future came back to the past to adventure in the present! It's a Star Trek episode! REEEEEE!

BACK TO THE TOWER OF MAGIC FUCKFUCKERY, BITCHES! LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!!

We hit the trails and there are no encounters. At the tower, we discover that the brigands are there and have just finished mopping up the orcs on L1. THANKS GUYS!

HIT THE STAIRS! FK YEA!

Level 2, hole in the ceiling to the east. Rubble. Passageway northeast. Portcullis to the north! Ceiling cat is absent (along with any other ceiling-hole monsters)!

NE passage. Probe ahead with polearm. A PRESSURE PLATE! We avoid the trap!

Passage opens into E/W hallway. Another portcullis to the west! ANOTHER FUCKING TRAP! But we avoided it!

We getting cocky cos we so profeshunel an sheet.

We go east! Yuge chamber with a couple of natty statues of some kind of hooded guy, and a dias! We poke around looking for sekret stuff.

OH FUCK SKELETEENS COMING FROM THE WESSSST!!! Where they come from? WHO KNOWS THIS IS D&D DAMMIT FK THEM SKELES!

Somebody turned undead like a gangsta and turned 10 of them, but I was too busy shitting myself to write down who!

We kilt the rest of them. No loot! :( :( :(

Open the north door! GIANT FUCKING ANTS FUCKKKKKK!!

Oh wait, they are running away! The giant ants fuck off down through a big hole in the floor.

Ragnhildr drops a torch down the hole. But if curves away and we can see nothing!

We exit room and shut the door behind us!

Open the south door! There's a bag of LOOT HANGING FROM THE CEILING!

What fuckery is this!? TOTALLY NOT AN OBVIOUS TRAP GUYS!

Mani summons berserkers! They cut it down. …….. It wasn't actually a trap! WTF!

5000 sp! 100gp of ornamental gems! GEM ALERT!!! FUCKIN LOOT YEEEEBOI!

South! Mani sends the barbarians off galumphing while we check out a big south room with no loot (and whose description I missed because I ran off for a piss break!).

OH SHIT A PACK OF FOUR GIANT DRACO LIZARDS! THEY KILLED THE BERZERKERS!

THEY'RE COMING RIGHT FOR US!

Mufuckas are vicious! Mani summons more berserkers! Muhfuckas getting cleaved by lizards! Aw sheeit!

Denewulf falls! FUCK SHIT FUKKKK! Ragnhildr drags him out of the melee.

After a ruff fight, we slay 3 of the lizards and one gets away out a window.

Denewulf rolls like a boss on MW table and comes away from it with nothing but some cool scars. Not even walking wounded, so we keep going,

West door! Library! It's all shitty and decayed though. BUT SECRET DOOR TO THE SOUTH!

LOOOOOOT! Two barrels of hooch and a chest!

1000e, 3 opals (2k gp), gem studded magnifying glass, spell scroll (later id'd as Haste).

OH SHIT A FLESH GOLEM JUST CAME THROUGH THE EAST DOOR! He doesn't seem immediately aggressive though!

We grab the loot (and the dead lizards) and fuck off to the west!

Mani sends the berserkers to lift the portcullis and spike it open before they disappear.

We fuck off back to Balmoral with the loot!

OH SHIT, A PARTY OF HOBGOBLINS IN THE FOREST!

They threaten. We call their bluff. They scoff and turn to leave.

Reynard shoots their leader in the back of the head with his bow, instakilling!

The rest of the hobblies run like the little bitches they are!

Mani summons more berserkers and they run down 5 of them. Two of them got away!

We make it back to Balmoral!

We sell loot!

720xp, 642gp per PC!

Reynard brews some quacksalves while the rest of us go check out an old mine entrance nearby to the northwest. It was a bust! All collapsed and flooded!

BACK TO THE TOWER THEN!

Camp for the night! BAT SWARM! It left us alone though!

We get to the tower! All is as we left it, it seems!

We are about to go through the spiked protcullis, when there is a scream (in elvish) from the east!

We beat feet that way to see wtf is going on!

Back in the statue/dais room! AN ELF IS CRUCIFIED TO THE WALL! HE DAID!

Then the dead elf melts into a pile of goo! WTF MAN!

Northward! Long hallway! We go through a door and trigger a trap! FUCK! A berserker takes it.

There are a bunch of elves in a wide passage to the north! They seem confused and ask for halp!

We question them a little. They seem suspicious. Fkin elves.

HOLY SHIT! THEY JUST TURNED INTO A HUWIGHT AND 8 SKELETEENS!

THE HUWIGHT MELTS THE DOGE! NUUUUUUU NOT THE DOGE! ALAS! ALACK!

We slay the shit out of them. Wooo! NO LOOT THOUGH DAMMIT!

We head on around and encounter a fancy butler! There's a yuge dinner party going on! FANCY!

Reynard impersonates a servant and successfully spikes all their wine with holy water! Then he rolls not-great on another reaction roll.

OH FUCK THE DINNER PARTY TURNED INTO 8 GHOULS! THE BAND TURNED INTO 3 SKELETEENS! IT'S LIKE DUSK TIL DAWN, FUCKKKKKK!

Reynard offers them a toast to his death! THEY DRINK!

AHAHA DUMBASS GHOULIES ARE CHOKING AND GAGGING! Half of them die. BOSS MOVE REYNARD!

We slay the rest of them! STILL NO LOOT THOUGH DAMMIT!

It's getting late RL. We fuck off back to the entrance. Mani sends the berserkers looking in a corner we didn't explore before they expire and they come back with an empty lock box.

EMPTY! DAMMIT! WHERE IS THE FUCKING LOOOOOOOOOT?!?

Oh wait, it has a false bottom.

A YUGE RUBY THE SIZE OF REYNARD'S GONADS AFTER HE BOSSED THOSE GHOULS! Hell yes. It's stuck in there and it's trapped though.

There was also a magical mask that detected as evil in some barrels in a store room. We got it into the lock box without touching it.

Ok! Now it's time to fuck off out of the dungeon for real!

SCARY SOUNDS FROM INSIDE THE LIBRARY AS WE PASSED BY! We dropped a ration behind us and continued fucking off!

WE GOT OUT!

We head back to Balmoral to sell shit.

OH FUCK, A GOBLIN CAMP!

We evaded them!

We camped for the night. SOME HUGE HUMANOIDS OFF IN THE DARKNESS THAT NIGHT! But they pass on by. Either we were well hidden of they didn't give a fk!

We make it back to Balmoral!

We go to sell the loot! One of the Lethanis Association guys triggers the mask's curse and it sticks to his face! Lul.

500gp, 358xp per PC!

TOTAL VICTORY!

…. And Ragnhildr is 52 xp from level 2. . Dammit.